I’m not a big one for celebrating Christmas and New Year, bah humbug and all that, just seems like too much effort! But it is the time of year when the world talks about new starts, resolutions, reflection on the past 12 months and planning ahead for the next 12. It is hard to avoid all that this season brings so I’ll give this one a bit of a go.
I set this blog up 9 months ago with the idea that the key to staying sane i the journey that is adoptive parenting, is to getting the right balance in life. Enough care, love, nurturing, attention, time and interest in the children to help them grow, develop, adapt to change and thrive.
However, it is just as important to do these things with your marriage and with YOURSELF. Yep, I’m banging that “self care” drum again. The drum that I get out periodically and bang loudly on, for me to be reminded of it and for all to hear. The problem is, people get fed up with the sound, it drowns out their own drums, takes me away from them, means I am not as available for their needs/wants/desires, so my drum gets attacked, laughed at, sometimes damaged and theirs get louder.
The noise becomes deafening, so I put my drum away again. It is too hard to play it with everything else going on. Gradually they get bored of their drums and find other things to do. It’s no fun if there is nothing to drown out.
This is where I am, reflecting on a year where my drum gradually got battered into a cupboard and will now take too much fixing to play again. So I need to find a new drum. It will still be called “Self Care” but instead of playing it when other people are around, I’m going to practice in secret. That way, no one can damage it or take it away from me.
Today I met with a very good friend who was sparking in interest at some drums she has started to bang, that in turn sparked something in me. She was not trying to damage, drown out or laugh at my own drums, but gave me hope that sometimes we might play a Drum Duet.
Does anyone else play the drum?